If you want to brighten up your day, get a book “Old Jews Telling Jokes”. Last Spring we went to see a Broadway Show based on this book, and it was hilarious. Nothing fancy, just few actors playing out the jokes. I laughed so hard, the tears were streaming down my face. Few days ago I saw this book in the library, and, needless to say, had to read it. A lot of the best jokes did not make it to the show due to adult nature, so it was well worth it. Well, see for yourself:
***Two beggars were outside the Tivoli fountain in Rome. One beggar had his hat in front of him, decorated with crucifix. The other had his hat in front of him, his with a Star of David.
People are walking by, and they’re all putting their donations into the hat with the crucifix.
A priest walks by, and he sees the two of them sitting there, and he says, “My good man this is a Catholic city. No one’s going to put money in a hat with a Star of David! As a matter of fact, most Catholics and Christians in this city will probably donate extra to the hat with the crucifix.”
The beggar with the Star of David turns to the other and says, “Moshe, look who’s trying to tell the Cohen brothers about marketing!”
*** The man goes to see his rabbi. He says to the rabbi, “Rabbi, I think my wife is poisoning me. I know she is poisoning me.”
The rabbi says, ”Calm down, calm down.”
He says, “No, no, I know! But I don’t know what to do. I need your advice.” The rabbi says, “Well, give me a chance to talk to her, and then I’ll get back to you.”
About three days later, the rabbi calls the guy, and he says, “I had a long talk with your wife. I talked to her for about three hours.” He says, “Yes, yes, so what’s your advice?”
“Take the poison.”